OCD

How often do you worry about things being exactly the way you want them? Whether it’s making your bed, organizing your desk, or simply keeping things in your pockets – OCD is there to complicate things. Growing up I found out that I had Tourette’s Syndrome in the third grade. Obsessive compulsive disorder often goes along with Tourette’s, so I was also working with that. ADHD followed quickly after, so I’m at no shortage of mental disorders. There are no real solutions or “cures” to these, so here’s a little bit about life through the eyes of a 20 year old college student with OCD.

Think about making your bed. How much time and thought are you actually going to put into folding a couple sheets and blankets onto a rectangular foam pad? Probably not much – I mean your’e a busy person and have a lot to do in your day, right? There isn’t time to waste on such a small detail – wrong. OCD says you can’t just slap together a couple sheets because it doesn’t fit right that way. You need to start from the beginning, take everything off and make all the corners line up and have every edge be straight. It must hang off either side of the bed the same amount, because imbalance is not something OCD is fond of. The pillows have to be fluffed and it has to look magazine-front-cover ready. If your bed isn’t made straight, the rest of your day has a solid chance of being ruined.

Now, what do you carry around with you? Is it different every day depending on how you feel when you are marching out of your room? Do you keep them mixed up in a bag or put them in whatever pockets are free? Once again, wrong! Every day, OCD says I must be equipped with exactly what I need to get through the day, and consistency is key. My right front pocket is for my phone and my car keys. Why? I’m right handed, and those are the most frequently grabbed items, so the front right pocket is all about efficiency. The front left pocket is for my HPU passport, a gum pack and Blistex. Not just any gum pack, it has to be flat – because who wants a giant shape protruding from their leg? Certainly not OCD. The Blistex will always be the pink container, because the blue is too minty. I want my lips soft and moisturized, I don’t need to taste like a peppermint patty all day. As for my passport – it gets used to get on campus and swipe into buildings, so it has to be relatively easy to access – but it’s not front right pocket worthy. For my back right pocket, that’s for my wallet. I don’t consider myself a big shopper by any means, I’m a college student for crying out loud, it’s not like I have anything to spend anyway. I don’t really need my wallet for most of the day, but preparation is important. I have to carry my license, credit and debit cards, some cash etc. So keep it small and organized, but make sure everything is accounted for. OCD only allows for these allotted items to be carried or anxiety and mental anguish will consume my day.

Some might look at this and say “wow, that must be awful!” but alas, my life is organized. The whole problem of losing personal belongings isn’t much of an issue with OCD, because everything has its place. Things must be in order, facing the same way, and be the same size. Clutter gives me rashes and causes most of my mental breakdowns, so my days are spent staying away from it and constantly organizing things around me. If I go into someone’s room and there is stuff all over the place, nausea commences and I start putting things in better places.

And that’s just brushing the surface. OCD goes into every aspect of my life, but I’d need to write a novel in order to portray it accurately. So there, a short overview of a few things that OCD complicates in my life.

And in case you haven’t caught on yet, here…